Seitz in South Africa

Prone to wander...

2009-04-27T21:53:00.006+02:00

It's about time. Once again I'm feeling the tug on my heart, the tug to go out into the world and listen for the heartbeat of God. I'm going back to South Africa. I've been talking about it, weighing the options, thinking, praying, and the choice is made. Some of you have known for a long time and some people are hearing it for the first time, but I'm ready to get going. It's time to raide support, speak out, make the plans and move forward. I'm so easily distracted by life, by the trivial things in this world.

There are those of you who have been on this journey with me before and I ask you to consider continuing to travel with me. For those who haven't yet decided to partner with me, I ask you to pray and consider what God may have in store for you in this time and how you can help make this a reality.

If you would like to recieve a letter giving you a bit more information about what I'm doing or you just want to speak to me, drop me a line at chris.seitz@crmleaders.org, send me your physical address, or call me at (352)247-0505. I'd love to chat your ear off about my time spent in South Africa, how it changed my life and what life will look like when I get back there.

Also, if you're on facebook, please add me as a friend and join my facebook group Chris Seitz Supporters. I'll be updating there as well and it will give you a chance to interact with others who are joining with me!

Where does the time go?

2009-01-26T21:20:00.003+02:00

It's been a looong time since I've posted on here. So much has happened, so I'll jump right into it!

I've decided to take a step of faith and go back to South Africa. Those of you who attend Crosspoint heard me speak about a month ago about being at a crossroads, about making decisions whole listening to God, this is the result of that very process. There will be more details coming as I share my story with Crosspoint and other churches in the area. I plan on keeping you all up to date through this blog, emails, as well as a Facebook group that I'm starting where my friends and supporters can interact with each other and keep up with me.

To those who supported me last year in my time with NieuCommunities, I thank you again. It was the greatest experience I've had to date. That's because I plan on having many more experiences better and more life changing than that one. Email me, call me, kidnap me so we can talk and I can tell you the stories of things past and we can talk about the great things to come!

My Heart (Part 2).

2008-11-16T10:40:00.005+02:00

Today is the day we leave. It came so fast, it almost feels too soon. But, as we all know so well, all things must come to an end, good or bad. What we can do is reflect on what has happened, not in a regretful sense or trying to hold on too much to what was, but to learn more about ourselves and press on into the future.

As I spoke about in my previous blog we have been working on a Heart Project. We finished them and shared them this past week, so without any further introduction, here is mine.

I feel that this is going to be something very difficult to explain in a blog, so what I will do is just explain what the piece says about my heart and you should be able to look at it and figure out what means what.

This year has been a year of exploring freedom. Not just freedom from sin, but freedom of mind and heart. The freedom to love, to express, to trust, and to be loved. Part of my coming to Africa is was also a search to find out who Jesus really is. I know a lot of people who have had bouts with skepticism, trying to figure out whether or not God even exists, is Jesus really the Son of God, that sort of thing. I've never had a problem with the existence of God and Jesus, but more of a skepticism that questions what we believe about his nature, his purpose for us, his plan for creation, all those things. I've had lot's of good and bad experiences, but they all point me back to myself. If you can see the top part of Africa, it's a collage of paintings of God or Jesus. They are surrounded by mirror pieces and stained glass. They represent my attempts to find Jesus. Over every one of the faces I put clear glass. This represents my pathetic attempts to put up walls between myself and God, he can see right through them every time. Thinking back over this past year, a lot of my experience has helped my to look back at myself. It's said that community is like a mirror, so over South Africa I did a mosaic of mirror pieces that are coming together to help me see a better image of myself and my own heart. In the middle of Africa I painted a human heart, it is my heart. The metal bars are broken through over my heart, because my heart first needs to be free before I can figure out the rest.

So there is my "brief" explanation. I'd rather tell you more about it in person, it would be a lot easier.

In my last post I also promised a bit of a look into the future. I've applied for and was accepted to come back for an internship here in South Africa with Nieucommunities. There are a lot of details that are coming together, such as support needed, when I will be coming back, and what the long term implications of this will be. It is safe to say that I am looking to come back for a long term position here in South Africa and this is the next step in doing so. What I do know is that it will be focused on my vision statement for my life and ministry that I wrote here. I want to share that with you all who have not heard it in hopes that you'll be able to understand a little better what this internship will be all about.

This vision that God has given me is yet to be complete. As I grow in Him and imagine what could be He takes me to new places and reveals His plan and purpose to me. So today I see myself strengthening and starting new monastic communities all over the world. I want to build relationships that reciprocally challenge and encourage each other. In these communities I dream of the following:

I will create places of peace and rest for myself and for others. There will be an openness and acceptance of others where they are at. We will have the freedom to ask questions, seek answers and work our true calling. Together we will work out a rhythm of life which will include prayer, worship and fun together. There will be values that the whole community agrees on that will be expressed in everything that we do.
There will be room for self-expression and creativity. God created me and the world around me and His Spirit and image lives inside of me therefore I have the ability to be creative and innovative. My life and the communities I am a part of should express themselves uniquely according to their DNA.
I will have passion for the Church, locally and internationally. In my life I want to be a leaf and God’s Spirit the wind. I want to go where He sends me and leave when He decides. In these communities I want there to be an outward focus to those in need, those who can’t help themselves. I want to see Jesus in every person I meet and treat them like royalty at my table. What I have is God’s therefore it belongs to everyone.
In these communities we will care for the world around us. We are co-creators with Christ and His salvation is for the whole world, including us. We will teach others how to care for creation in ways that are specific to their context.

In the end, I hope to be a part of new expressions of love and worship towards God and mission inside and outside our walls.

All that being said, I can't wait to be home and share more of my heart with all of you. I'm so ready to see my friends and family again, to be in familiar places and eat great Mexican food! All of you have been a great encouragement to me on this journey, but it's not over, not by a long shot. There is so much more that God has in store for all of us and I'm excited to be a part of that with all of you.

So, soon we will see each other face to face! Much love to all of you!!!

My Heart.

2008-11-09T21:54:00.010+02:00

Tomorrow begins the last week of my apprenticeship here in South Africa.

I want to say thank you to all who have journeyed with me, supported me with prayer and finances and in general loved and cared for my heart.

This last couple of weeks we've been talking about just that, our hearts and what it will look like to go back home. I'm dedicating two posts this week to that. This one will focus on saying goodbye to South Africa and a special project that we are doing to express what that means for us. The next post will focus on what I'm looking forward to in coming home and what's on my horizon.

We had a big bash to say goodbye to our friends that we've made here in South Africa. People we've ministered to, ministered with and everyone around and in between. There are pictures of some of our boys who showed up. Unfortunately I just realized that since I was the one taking the pictures there were none of me. Don't worry though, those of you back home will get to see plenty of me really soon!

At one point in the evening we gave the guests a chance to get up and tell stories about their experiences with us. It brought me to tears to hear how our community had impacted the lives of people in this country. I especially had to choke tears back when a couple of our friends from Zimbabwe and one of my friends from a local township spoke about how Jodys and my life had impacted theirs. Sometimes when you're really out in a different culture, especially one as foreign to my culture as South Africa, you feel like you can never make an impact. Sometimes you feel like you could spend 10 years in a place and not make the kind of impact you or others would expect. So it really means the world when you hear that you did make even the slightest impact in someones life.

So, like I said, this past few weeks have been really focused on our hearts, our re-entry into our home culture and all the emotions and realities we are going to face when we get home. One way in which we explore the impact this year has had on our lives is through the Heart Project. The Heart Project is just that, an expression of your heart specifically related to our year here in South Africa. In order to prep for that we spent two days with a local artist that runs a shop and has experience in the area of Art Therapy. She really helped us to learn to express ourselves using any medium we would choose and allowing the art to come intuitively. The reality is that not everyone is an artist in the way we were practicing it, but everyone can create from within themselves. God created us with the ability to create and this was just one way of expressing that.

My Heart Project is still underway and will be finished this week but I figured that I could show you what I created in those two days. Now I feel compelled to give a little disclaimer to the fact that this is not something I normally do. I had fun and in some of these I quite surprised myself while others might not exactly get the best review from an art critic. In the end these were all expressions of what was and is happening inside of me and around me at the moment. I'll give a bit of an explanation of each piece; what was the inspiration, what do the colours and shapes represent, etc. So, here we go.

Day One

This was the first piece. It's called Dawn Breaks Through. We were just given the assignment to paint something just to get into the mood and feel of doing art. I've always had this image in my mind when reading Psalm 57 where is says "I will awaken the dawn" of a beautiful sunny sky meeting and meshing with a starry night sky and so I kind of abstractly threw paint on the paper and this is what came out.

This second one is called This Town is Dead. It's based off of lyrics from a song called Phages from the band The Most Serene Republic. The specific line says "This town is dead from too much living/We'll make our endings from new beginnings". They repeat that multiple times in the song and it was stuck in my head that morning. The colours at the top represent life that seems to be hovering above this dead town.

This one is called Broken Heart (I Wish You Were Here). This one is a bit more personal. An instruction that was given to us before we came to the workshop was to bring an object that had some sort of meaning or value to us. I brought a journal that was given to me by a close friend. In this journal they went through and randomly wrote notes of encouragement, verses, funny quotes, story reminders and just all sorts of stuff that was collected from years of journeying together. I decided I needed some inspiration and just kind of opened it up to a random page and it said this "Tell your dad about what you're doing in South Africa...", and then when you turn the page you see "He is proud of you!". For those of you who don't know, my father passed away tragically when I was 15 and I'm sure you realize that changed my life forever. So I began to think about that and went to get another piece of paper. When I went to pull it out the paper tore a bit on the top. The teacher said not to worry and just grab another one. Still not knowing what I was going to paint I just decided to keep that one. I began with the different colours as a representation of the spirit of Africa, it's bright, vibrant, full of life. Then came the black marks representing the hard times, uncertainty, emotional trials, hard lessons and bad experiences. I wasn't sure where to go from there and I painted the heart in the middle and I realized something. I don't want to just speak into the air to my dad, I want to tell him face to face. I want him to be here. I realized that I will always want that and I will never have that in this life. That's when I finished the rip and it went straight through my heart.

This was my last piece for the first day. It's simply titled Desire. It's a little bit of mixed media (really just a couple of pieces of paper pasted on with some writing on them, the rest is paint). We were asked to think about a question, idea, or anything that we were struggling with or trying to work out and then create something about that with any medium of our choice. I had recently read the book Journey of Desire by John Eldridge and had been struggling with the idea of desire. We get taught so many things in the church about desire that span the whole spectrum, from the idea that all our desires our evil to the thought that God grants all our desires. Those are two extremes, I know, but sometimes it's hard to find where to land. I have so many desires that I'm so afraid to express because I don't know that it's ok to do so. I'm beginning to learn how to dream again, how to imagine. So my desire is in the center here, surrounded by this dark blue that to me represents the unknown. Then there are all these compartments that represent a desire. Somehow they are all being held back by there barriers and I know that only God can help me to really understand and express them.

Day Two

We started the day with a little check-in, the idea being to use any medium to express how you were feeling at the beginning of the day. I'll be honest, I was feeling a little blank and distracted, so when she began to talk about this assignment the first thing that cam to my mind was this green dinosaur. I don't know why, I still can't explain it, but I couldn't get rid of it. So I had to make him. I felt a little silly and then decided to make him a little friend, that's how the little blue guy came about (He was later attacked by a three year old and made into a little ball. Luckily he was saved and I revived him, though you can tell he's still a little mangled!). Then I had some sort of realization. When we wake up, for the most part, we are an emotional blank slate. The first thing that happens to us, be it a memory from the day before, the first greeting from a spouse, whoever (or whatever) lives in your house, or the song on the alarm clock that wakes you up. Sometimes, however, nothing significant happens and you get the rare chance to make a choice about what you get to feel. That day was one of those days for me. So that day, I chose to feel dinosaur. My hope was that focusing on something fun and a little silly would cause me to feel joy. It worked.

Our final assignment was focused on the heart project. At that time I really had no idea what I wanted to do for mine. So I sat for a while and though, and then the last stanza of the Robert Frost poem The Road Not Taken came to mind. It says this:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

So that was the inspiration of this painting. I know that there are lots of places I could be right now, other countries, states, communities, but I chose this one. The same will be for my heart project. I can choose any medium, any style, any experience to pull from, but I will choose one, and that will make all the difference.

I hope you enjoyed those and they helped you to understand just a bit of what this year has meant for me. In my next blog, as I said, I will be looking forward to what it will mean to be home and what the future holds for me.

Random pictures...

2008-10-07T16:48:00.009+02:00

I figure its been a while since I've posted any pictures from just day to day life and something today just told me "Post pictures today on your blog". So, here they are (in no particular order)...

My birthday pancake.

My chore is the pool. This is what it looked like one night after the wind. Pretty, but annoying.

Just a pretty picture of the Jacaranda leaves that fell on my buddy's bible.

Some of our friends from Sosh enjoying the pool

Joe giving me a funny look during a lecture at our Creation Care weekend that we hosted.

Roger doing the same...

Kelly giving me a funny face in the kitchen (a lot of funny faces in this community).

Jody, Manatsa and myself getting ready to go our ministry in the city.

The night cityscape of downtown Pretoria

The daughter of one of our Zim friends

This is our dog Chippy, most likely one of his dirtiest moments. He's actually white.

Luc, Chris, and myself eating what you see below. We like to call it a "township burger". It contains basically everything.

Mmmmmm....

Us and some of the boys. Left to right; me, Manatsa, Jody, Allen and Herbert

I hope you guys enjoyed these photos! Just a little piece of my life here in Africa.

True North

2008-09-15T14:13:00.004+02:00

November 17th. That's the day I step back onto U.S. soil. It seemed like such a far off day and now it's barreling down on me. The thing is, it's welcome. I'm excited for the day where I see and embrace my friends, my family once more. The day I get to walk back into my house, my church, my old hang outs and remember what life was like before I left. The reality, though, is that it will all be different. I have changed and so has everyone else. I'll be looking at the world I came from with new lenses, new perspectives and people will be seeing me through more mature and grown eyes. I'm eagerly anticipating that time, to see everything an everyone as new, still holding on to what I know and building upon that with new experience and growth. It's the way of life...

This time in the apprenticeship has become extremely interesting. We're going through a process called "Life Compass". I've never been through something quite as thorough as this. It's a process by which we make a detailed map of our lives, everything we can think of, good and bad, that's shaped us. People, places, events, books, movies; you name it, it's on that map. Then we continue through those events to pick out life lessons, values, voices, and then sum it all up with a look to the future. We're in that part of the process, drafting a vision statement. We finished the first major step in doing that today, and let me just say, I am starting to feel alive. The more I think about what could be next, dreaming with God about what life could be, what ministry could be, I can feel my heart beating in my chest. There's a reality about growing closer to the heart of God that I'm just beginning to understand. It makes me feel so small, so fragile, yet strong and brave at the same time. Only in God can those two exist. Only in God can we be little children in His lap and tremendous leaders and warriors for His Kingdom.

So an update on ministry; a lot of good has been happening. Jody and I have really connected with a few guys we like to refer to as 'the boys'. These are the guys who've been a part of the Bible studies and just our lives in general. They've come to our home, eaten with us, stayed with us and really shown us who they are. Most of them have finally left the camp, found jobs and accommodation, and are trying to integrate back into South African society. That was our goal and our hope, but it's had some interesting side effects that I didn't really think about. Now they're too busy to really see us that often. One moved clear to another city. A few still live in Pretoria but their jobs keep them fairly occupied, the rest have scattered to some townships in our province. This makes it increasingly harder to pour into their lives. At first I was almost a little annoyed, to be completely honest. Then a realization hit me "This is the way it needs to be." They can't live in the camp forever, that wouldn't be healthy. They need to work, they need to make a life, that's what we always hoped. I realized that I was holding onto this ministry like it was ours, mine and Jody's, not God's. God created this opportunity for us to speak into the lives of these guys and now it's coming to an end. We have to believe that what we planted in them will grow. We have to entrust these guys back to God. Does that mean we can't still meet with them and help them? Of course not! There is always more that we can do, more that we can give. The thing that we have to realize is that this is God's not ours, it's not always going to look and feel the way we want it. As the writer of Job states "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" So we will continue to seek and work with the guys we've grown close to as their time permits, but through this I've learned so much about what mission is and could be.

For those of you who are interested in what's happening politically in Zimbabwe right now here is a link to an article about the latest deal between the parties that could be the beginning of something great. We are all hold our breath, watching, and praying so please join with us in praying for Zimbabwe.

To end I just want to leave you with a quote that my friend Mariah loves that's been resonating in my heart since last night. It's a little non sequitur for this post depending on how you look at it, but it's simply this:

"...the world will be saved by beauty."

from Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Mission as a gift from God

2008-08-26T22:07:00.004+02:00

So today was an interesting day. In my mentoring time I really began to struggle with thoughts about why I do what I do. More specifically, what is it that I have to offer? What are my gifts, talents, etc. that I bring to ministry/mission. This has been an on again off again struggle for me. The reality is that I need to be more focused on my identity in Christ, that is, not define myself by what I can do or what I bring to the table but what He has to say about me. Part of the struggle is that I can't find ministry that I am truly passionate about and I can't remember doing something that really brought me energy and made me alive. Sure I've done ministry that I've enjoyed, music mostly, but I know that there is more than that for me, something beyond what I've been doing. There is something that lays untapped, dormant in my soul. Maybe the key is in finding my true identity, my name in God.

But that's not why I'm writing this.

I'm still working on all that stuff, but in the midst of that struggle God has given me a gift. In His great love and mercy for me He allowed me to experience something amazing tonight.

Tuesday nights are our normal ministry nights with the Zim refugees. So, like normal, Jody, Manatsa and I went out to the camp. We normally just hang out for a while, waiting for some of the guys to get out of work and just generally visiting with people that we know. After a little while a few guys that we know and that occasionally come out to the bible study walked to the middle of the camp and started to sing in Shona. When I asked someone told me that they were singing "We are here to pray, come pray with us." I hadn't ever seen them do this before, so we went and joined in with them (yes, I do occasionally sing in Shona, though I have no idea what I'm saying). At one point the "leader" gave a signal then we all got on our knees to pray. It followed suit like this for a while, occasionally someone would start reading scripture and preaching. It was amazing. Then one of the guys came to me while they were singing and handed me a Bible, whispering to me "Can you give us a word?" How on earth can I turn that down?

Now, I have preached before, but I wouldn't label that as one of my top favourite things to do. It's also something that I really feel like I need to prepare for. I do believe that I have the gift of teaching, but not necessarily in that setting or with that little time. But they wanted me to do it. They wanted to hear the word of the Lord. So while they were singing and some others were sharing I did a quick thumb through this KJV New Testament and when it came time I stood up and I preached. Now one thing you should understand about African church culture, it's very much lively and loud. I don't care if it's a Baptist, Methodist, Assembly of God, pick your denomination, these people know how to preach. So, in the best lively way I could, I talked to them about how love goes beyond what we think is necessary, about loving your enemies, and about how when we don't love perfectly we are still connected to God because nothing can separate us from Him. I finished (much faster than my Shona speaking brothers) and we sang another couple of songs and then it was back down to our knees for everyone to pray.

In that moment I realized what had just happened. God had given me that moment as a gift. It was as if He was saying to me "Chris, I know you're having a hard time right now. I know you want to have it all figured out, to know what it is you're supposed to do, and soon you will. Until then, I give this moment in time to you. Treasure it. Let it drive you forward in your journey. I just wanted you to know that I'm still here and I care." It was all I could do to praise Him and give Him thanks. When I was struggling most with my calling and gifting He gave me an opportunity right in the middle of my ministry to do just that, to minister.

That feels like a lot of rambling, I'm still just really excited about it all (this happened about 2 hours ago). I guess what I'm really beginning to understand is that mission is more than just what we do for others. When we are doing what God has made us to do, what we were always meant to do, mission is a gift to us from God.

Thin places in the Kingdom...

2008-08-03T13:48:00.007+02:00

At this moment I’m suddenly encouraged by thoughts of the kingdom.

That may seem like a weird statement (when I read it I think it is) but I’ve come to find that in my life I have these bizarre moments where my heart feels warm and I realize that I’m in one of those “thin places” where the kingdom of God is so near that I feel as if I could just reach through and step into it.

Maybe I’ve had too many cups of coffee, maybe it’s just a combination music, reading blogs, looking at pictures, and thinking about my own emotional state that just create this moment. I honestly don’t know. I do believe, however, that God is near. He is so very near, at every moment, and that there are just some moments that He knows we need Him to touch our hearts. It’s like when a significant other spontaneously says that thing you love to hear or just gently touches you at the right moment and you feel the love that you crave when you weren’t even expecting it. We’ve done nothing in that moment to deserve/ask for this love, but they freely give it because of their mysterious love for us (mysterious because I sometimes wonder why anyone would ever or could ever love me).

I’ve actually been experiencing love in a new way this week. I dove off a cliff (metaphorically speaking) into a new realm of community, laying bare my heart in scary, embarrassing, intimate ways. I sometimes still feel strange when I look around at people who now know my heart more than some ever will and feel extremely vulnerable. There are people who now have the knowledge and power to hurt me at the very core of who I am. They can throw salt into and rip open a wound that has been healing for years (and isn’t quite healed yet.

Their response, love.

They have loved me and continue to see me through this time. When you live in that tension of being able to be hurt by anyone by no one does it community reaches a whole new dimension. The question was asked, and is still being asked, what if this is what community always looked like?

I believe that this is what the kingdom looks like, a place where we experience it not just in serving and intentional times of seeking, but in the random (or not so random) moments when we feel unloved and abandoned, moments where we least expect to feel the touch of God. It’s in those moments, too, that the kingdom is near.

Shamari Wangu!

2008-07-22T22:29:00.009+02:00

Hello all! It's been a while, I know. Things have been very busy here, but I decided that it was about time to let you all know what we've been up to here in beautiful Africa.

We've really fallen into the rhythm of apprenticeship at this point. We are in the Contending posture now. It's about fighting to see the kingdom of God present in the situations and lives around us. This has become very real in the situation myself and Jody find ourselves in working with Zimbabwe refugees. What does the reality of the present kingdom of God mean for them?

To brag a little bit on my friend Jody (he's the guy who got me involved with the refugees), he has made a real effort to not just work with the refugees at the camp but to find people even in our own backyard. One of the guys he met, Manatsa, became a regular part of our communities lives. He was living here in Pretoria North at a construction site that he was working at, which is common for anyone who can find work. As our community became more burdened for what was happening to the Zimbabwe people here and in their own country we started asking more questions of ourselves about what we could do now, besides just praying about it. We can't go in and overthrow the government, but how can we see the kingdom of God manifest for those around us? We decided that we should take Manatsa into our home. After a little bit of room hopping he has more permanently become my roommate. He is a great guy and a man of God. Recently we started a bible study with some of the people we know from the camp that we go to and Manatsa has been coming and helping us with it. It's been such an amazing experience doing this bible study. Jody and I have actually only led a couple. Some of the Christians at the camp got so excited about the way we do bible study that they started leading some themselves. It's been a great exercise in humility and openness to realize that it's not just me who has something to teach these people, but they have a lot to teach me!

This Manatsa teaching me how to cook pap, a traditional African food.

The language you see behind you on the white board is Shona, the major language of Zimbabwe. This is one of two lessons in which I found out that I'm not very good at learning languages...

Over all things are going really well here. It's very strange to look back at the person I was before I came on this trip. It's hard to explain it or put my finger on it, but things are just different. One thing that an apprentice from Scotland said to me while I was there that really confirmed that I wanted to do this apprenticeship was that he really saw himself becoming more like Jesus. Now, this may sound like an arrogant or just weird statement at first, but I really get what he was trying to say. I see it in myself. I'm starting to think differently, look at the world differently, even look at God differently. Now this doesn't make me feel any holier than I did yesterday. The reality is that the more you begin to know about God the less you actually know about him, the deeper the mystery becomes. It's like in a mystery story when what was thought to be the last clue was uncovered, only to find that the mystery was more complex than you could have ever imagined. The goal seems to be to become ok with that, to become ok with the mystery, the ambiguity. The other part is that the closer you seem to get to God, the more desperate you are for him. There is this idea I recently read about (How (Not) to Speak of God by Pete Rollins) that takes Pascal's idea of the "God-shaped hole" that we all have in us and turns it a bit on its head. The original thought with the God-shaped hole was that all mankind has this hole in them that we try to fill with all manner of things, but only God can truly satisfy or "fill" that need in us. Rollins says that maybe when our lives intersect with Gods, when our stories become intertwined, the wake of Gods movement through our lives creates a hole, almost like a black hole, that can never be satisfied. There is more of God than we can ever understand so this void in us never completely fills. We will never know enough or be close enough, there will always be more.

So with that I will sign off. I love you all and miss you like CRAZY! I know it's a little early to be thinking this but I can't wait to be home. I truly love Africa and I see traveling as a part of my short and long term future but I've never been this far and this long away from friends and family. You all have a special place in my heart and I can't wait to celebrate what God has done in my life and in Africa with you face to face. Until then I will soak up every moment and opportunity I can. So, until next time, cheers!

Prayers and Creeds

2008-07-07T15:37:00.002+02:00

Hey everyone, I'm going to be posting on a new blog that some friends of mine and I have started called Prayers and Creeds. Click on the link to check it and find out what it's all about. Email me if you want to know more.

God's Economy

2008-07-03T09:21:00.007+02:00

So I'm going to play a little word association game with you. I'm going to say a phrase, and then I want you to remember the first thing that comes to mind. Ok? Here we go...

Fair Trade...

So what did you think of? That's right, coffee. Now I'm all about the fair trade coffee and we have a pretty rad supplier of strictly African fair trade goodness, but why does fair trade have to apply directly to coffee? What can't it be a much bigger idea than that?

I am writing this because I just started downloading Derek Webb's cd the Ringing Bell for free. And not the good old fashion pirate way, but a legitimate site from some artists who had an interesting idea; fair trade music. What if we let you pick the price of the cd? Or better yet, if you just spread the word about it we'll let you download it for free, because we want a different type of connection with our fans. There are several artists on this site and you can go there (http://www.noisetrade.com) and read more about what they're doing. Especially for musicians, the idea of allowing their music to be downloaded for free instead of for a fee is a counter cultural idea.

Now this got me to thinking about the idea of trading goods for goods and what it would look like if people stopped caring so much about cold, hard cash and started sharing what they had without cost to those who needed it. What could happen if we stopped relying on the all mighty dollar (Rand, Euro, Pound, or wherever your form of currency) and started helping those in need, and in turn they would help you in your need? This isn't a new concept, it's the early church in Acts. Now most of us who have been on this journey for some time know this story. We read it, say "What a nice thought" and go back to life as normal, maybe throwing a little extra cash in the basket this week at church and feel good about ourselves. I'm the guiltiest of all in this, because even though I have that nice afterthought that everything I have belongs to God, the way my life plays out doesn't show it. What I have is mine. I've worked for it (or in my current case I did the leg work to raise it) and I should determine where it goes and what it does, and I hold onto it with a not-so-loose grip. That is not the economy of God's kingdom. When will I truly follow Jesus's teaching on money? It's not at all about 10% of my wealth, but it's about everything I have. It's about my money, food, clothes, car, home, friends, trade/vocation, it's about everything I have to offer this world. What if my 10% is actually cheating God?

So, what would the implications be if we all started sharing? And I mean really sharing without interest, without a sense of personal justice, without holding it over someones head when they have taken more than they have given. Could it then be possible that we could then know no one who had need? What if the church, God's people, are the avenue through which God wants His people to not worry about tomorrow? Jesus speaks about the birds of the air and the flowers in the fields, and how he cares for them regardless of what they do for the kingdom. Could we care for people without considering what they can do for us, what they have to offer us? I know that's a stretch for me, but it seems that in God's economy this is the very point he is trying to make, that the last are first.

When I drink a cup of fair trade coffee, what does that mean? It means that someone who was once making next to nothing for their work is now being paid a fair wage for their labor and in some cases are also better educated in how to do their job (ie, better farming techniques). In one case that I was a actually able to hear from the source, a woman who could only send one child to school can now send both due to the fact that she was being paid a fair wage and was also taught better ways to farm her crops. Though it's small, I think thats a picture of the kingdom on earth.

To My Friends On The Feed...

2008-06-28T16:41:00.002+02:00

I've had a few people comment to me that they have me on an RSS feed and do not desire to get 20 messages from me when I've updated my blog! So if that's you, you'll know because you'll see this on your feed since I'm not promoting this specific blog. Leave a comment so I know who you are and I'll take you out of the emailing/facebook messaging lists. Thanks!

Communion Time With The Kids

2008-06-20T20:21:00.005+02:00

I have been a part of many different types of communion services. As an "emergent" generation of followers of Jesus we somewhat pride ourselves on creativity. Tonight I was broken by such a different way of doing things. One of our apprentices who comes from the Brethren tradition took us though a somewhat similar communion service that they might go through in their church. After a powerful time of reflection, prayer and song we brought the children in...

Now before I continue, I have a confession to make. Normally, bringing children into any worship time just gets on my nerves. They don't have a very good attention span, usually they make some sort of noise, and overall just distract me from whats going on. I'm also not a parent, so maybe I haven't built up the tolerance to their carrying on and such. Through a few small ways I have been challenged in how I feel about this but tonight was different.

(no pics from during communion, that just wouldn't have felt right)

So, we bring the children in (playing a bit of children style worship) and we handed them the elements, but instead of us serving them, they served us communion. Now, I know there are all sorts of theological and pragmatic reasons someone may try and throw at me as to why this isn't a good idea, but when you have a beautiful 4 year old girl, completely loved and treasured by the Father, serving the element of the blood of Christ with the biggest smile on her face, something inside you breaks. She probably doesn't get it all and it may be a long time before she does, but there was something holy about this small group of children, so innocent, serving us one of the holiest sacraments. I was simply undone and my only thought was of the verse where Jesus said to let the children come. He has called us to be like the children, in all their innocence and wonder, proudly serving this world with a hope and love they we have barely caught a glimpse of.

So in our services, churches, communion times, though it may be a little different and they might not get it all, maybe we should let the children come.

The Current State of My Heart

2008-06-17T01:09:00.009+02:00

This entry is a little different. It doesn't have a lot about what I've been doing because I think you've been seeing a lot of that. I do plan on an update soon with my ministry and what's happening in the community, but I really felt like sharing what's on my heart and just being honest with where I'm at, so here it goes...

You see, I have a tendency to just coast through life. I get everything in order as best I can and hope that nothing really important happens to derail life as I know it. When I get in this mode I can tend to overlook the seemingly small details that in all reality will change my life. While taking a personal holiday in Johannesburg God kind of got my attention. While lost in a slightly dodgey part of town I got into a car accident. Now, everyone was fine, it was just a fender bender, but it shook me up a bit. What really became the problem was that I was stuck alone in Johannesburg with very little hope of immediate rescue. So I spent a few days where I was staying, relatively alone accept for the occasional visits of the one friend I had in Joburg, waiting for someone to drive out there and get me. Well, God showed up. He began to show me that I was beginning to coast through my year here in South Africa. It's not that I'm not doing anything. I mean, I have a ministry with the Zimbabwe refugees, I have my teaching times here with Nieucommunities, I have my house chores, and in the end a plethora of other things to keep me busy. Funny thing is, He didn't call me to South Africa to be busy, He called me here to change my life. All these opportunities for ministry are great and the teaching times and relationships are awesome, but if I'm only going skin deep, if I'm skimming on the assignments, not really doing my reading, not going deep with my friends, no, my family here, than what's really changing my life? The answer would be nothing. It's possible to do all the right things and be in all of the right places and never allow your heart to be transformed. I decided that's not what I wanted and it has made all the difference. This last month has been one of the most amazing months of my time here and the best way that I can explain it is that I'm paying attention to the little things. Do I get it right every day? No. Am I experiencing the grace, mercy and love of God? Yes.

I have a friend Will who recently posted a blog talking about identity. He spoke about how he feels like God is restoring his identity, and I think that is true for me as well. I think for too long we've allowed our identity as the beloved children of God to be stolen from us by the lies of the enemy that make us think that we just aren't good enough, whatever that means for each person. It could be a vice, character flaw, something you've done, something you haven't done, what others are saying about you, what they're not saying... all these things and many, many more can cause us to buy into the lies that seem to put a wall up between us and God. It's a wall, my friends, that we were never meant to scale. Earlier in this year I got a picture in my head of a wall in my heart. This wall wasn't something that I was supposed to climb or tear down, I was just supposed to wait. It seemed like the answers to a lot of questions I have, questions about God, my calling, my future, and such were behind this wall, but there was nothing I could to to tear it down myself. I can see now that He's been tearing the wall down from His side and I'm catching glimpses, some larger than others, of what He's doing in my life. The funny thing is He isn't answering any of my questions. Instead He's showing me who I am. Not who I think I am, but the person He is molding and shaping me to be. This is causing me to face up to a lot of the lies and what damage they've done, but He's calling me back. He's renewing me. In following Him, His calling, mission, and love, I am learning to truly be a follower of Jesus, to be His disciple. We were talking today about how to communicate what it is we do here, a summation statement of sorts. It boils down to this:

We are a missional community helping others to follow in the ways of Jesus.

I pray that this is true of me, that it is true of us all.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support. I really don't deserve it, I know, but for some reason God saw it fit in this time to allow all of us to journey together even though it may be halfway across the world. Let me know how you all are, how I can be praying for you and encouraging you!

March Against Xenophobia

2008-05-25T20:00:00.009+02:00

Today was Africa Day, a day to celebrate the forming of the Organization of African Unity (now the African Union, or AU). Normally it's a day to celebrate African independence and pride, but today was different. Africans here in South Africa decided that it was time to take a stand against Xenophobic attacks happening right here in our province. Zimbabweans, Congolese, Malawians, Mozambicans, and more have been subject to violence in the name of fear and hatred. On this day they decided to march, and we marched with them. In the past I've really wondered what a march could accomplish. I know that even America's history is marked with different marches for independence, rights, and freedom. But in this day and age, is that effective anymore? Well, I still don't have the answers to that, but to see the hope in peoples faces, to hear the songs for freedom, to march along side Africans in their hope for a better future, this is something I see as worth it. So Brian, Doug, Mariah, Manasseh (a friend from Zimbabwe), and myself went out. These are the pictures from this time. It was an amazing time, even when the rain hit. We sang, we danced, and we created hope for the future.

At the end of the March there were a few speeches. One given by a woman who traveled down for this march from Zimbabwe. She spoke of many marches being had up there, and every time being beaten and sometimes imprisoned for the hope they have for a new nation. After several more speakers, one of the youth from Zimbabwe read a letter written to President Mbeki (the South African president). In essence, the letter stated that what has been happening to foreigners in South Africa was unacceptable and that whatever the government is doing to help is simply not enough. It also spoke about the South African governments lack of involvement in the political situation in Zimbabwe and how this country needs to help to step in and mediate for a better outcome. They listed the hopes and demands of the people, most of which I couldn't really hear over the crowd and through the rain. In the end the document was signed by several of the leaders of organizations present for the march and handed over to the Presidents aid who promised that it would make it into his hands. We finished the day singing the South African National Anthem (well, they sang, I listened). It was a good day and a hopeful day.

Here are a couple of videos from the march. Possibly more to come!

Zim Refugees

2008-05-24T14:08:00.010+02:00

So this post is just a series of pictures that I took while visiting with the Zimbabwe refugees. As a community we've been really taking a focus on the situation here in South Africa. With all of the Xenophobic attacks and personal interaction with Zimbabweans it has touched each of our hearts in a different way. In spending time with the people and hearing their stories I get to witness an opportunity. An opportunity we have and an opportunity to see God work in an amazing way. I hope these pictures and stories give you a window into that.

Kids playing amongst the rubble, somewhat ignorant of their situation they still have smiles on their face.

This is one of the areas that people sleep in. It's coming on winter here in South Africa which means really cold nights, so this is the best refuge they have.

This day the local Muslim community came out to provide a meal. They've been extremely helpful and have given a lot of time and energy to the crisis.

This was a choir from a local church that showed up to sing for the refugees. It was a beautiful time of song and dance. Once I figure out how to compress videos I'll throw a few up here!

These are just some of the children living in the shelter. The bottom one is named Prince and when I was holding him he was very insistent about kissing me on the nose!

A favorite pastime here at the shelter, checkers! There are a few rules that are indigenous to South Africa that I'm not to sure of yet, but I think I'll get the hang of it some day. Jody bought them this set when we saw they were playing with bottle caps on a drawn out board. They are also amazing at chess!

These are just pictures that take a look around where they are living. They are trying to make the best of it, cleaning up areas and setting up "rooms" with tires and large pieces of trash.

One of my friends, Andrew, took a trip to Zimbabwe not to long ago and put together a field report (this is a link to a blog which has a link to the report) which I think that everyone should read. It is showing the violence that is happening to the people of Zimbabwe as well as the hope that people still have for this once great nation. There is a warning on the other blog, but I'll just tell you that the pictures there are not easy to look at. This is the reality of what evil can do.

This is my sick face...

2008-05-07T19:44:00.006+02:00

So this week is the last week of our submerging posture. Our final big assignment was to go for three days (Tuesday - Thursday) to stay with people that we've made friends with. Since Jody and I had been spending so much time with the Zimbabwe refugees, it seemed natural that we would go and stay with them. So we made the plans, figured it out as best we could, talked to the people there, decided what we were going to do about food, pretty much everything, right?

Well Sunday morning we had planned on going to church, but when I woke up something was wrong. I had quite a bad sore throat. I spent the whole day trying to chill, feel better, but by Monday it got really bad. By the time Tuesday came around, a full on flu hit me and there was no way I was going anywhere. You see, to stay with the refugees meant to stay out in the elements. Its not like super freezing cold or anything, but cold enough to where it just wasn't wise to stay out there in my condition. I hoped that maybe it would improve so that I could come out and stay the next night, but no such luck. Tonight is the last night of the assignment and here I am at home, still sick. I've improved, but still not a good idea to go and sleep outside all night. On top of that, the last thing I want to do is to get someone out there sick where they have enough to deal with as is.

So I guess my problem is, why now?!? Why couldn't this have happened like a week earlier? A week later? Why when I have such an opportunity do I have to get sick at the most inopportune time? My tendency in this situation is to get down on myself, as if I could have predicted or stopped myself from getting sick, and to think that I'm useless, or that I'm not pleasing God by just sitting around the house being sick. I should be out there! Sometimes I wondered if I should have just gone out there, sacrificed my body, trusted God with my health and done it anyways. Just when I was really starting to give myself a guilt trip this verse came to mind:

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:16,17

Just like He's been telling me this whole year, He speaks to me again and says that He loves my heart. Doing this assignment isn't going to make God love me more. Sure it's a good idea and probably would have been a life changing experience, but it wouldn't have made God anymore pleased with me than he already is. I wonder when I'll learn that? It will probably be a lifelong process of understanding, messing up, falling at His feet, gaining new understanding, messing up again, repeat cycle.

Father, break my heart...

Come Lord Jesus, Come

2008-05-01T15:21:00.005+02:00

So I'm sitting here listening to one of the other apprentices play piano in the next room. He's playing this worship song that I think is called Come Lord Jesus, Come, and that's the chorus. Just repeating that over and over, come Lord Jesus, come. It's beautiful.

A lot of things have been weighing heavy on my heart. Petty things that don't really make that much of a difference. It seems to distract me from what God is calling me to do. Instead of hearing people I'm drifting off into my own thoughts.

Today I spent several hours just hearing from the Zim refugees, hearing more stories of hurt. One man told us today that he would rather die than continue to struggle, but because of his faith in God he wouldn't take his own life. He's been struggling for 11 years now. He says that he doesn't want to be rich, he just wants to be able to have a home and feed his wife and daughter. That shouldn't be a dream, that should be a reality for everyone in this world. To eat, to have shelter, to be able to provide a home for your family, to be treated like a human being.

What have they done?
One man's decisions has created this.
Come, Lord Jesus, come...

It kind of puts my problems in perspective. It's not that I should ignore my heart, God holds it in His hand. But He hold theirs too, so maybe I should care more about what God thinks of my heart. I'm learning more and more about what matters most and I hope I'm on to something.

Ah, he's singing this song just now...

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice, this is my life...

May that be true of my life.

Community Fun!

2008-04-29T11:50:00.006+02:00

So we had this really good conversation on community and expectations today so I figured I'd share it with you. It's cleverly titled "Myths of Community ". Also I'm on my fourth cup of coffee today so I have a lot of energy.

We started out the conversation with a clip from the movie "The Beach". In a nutshell, the movie is about a world traveler named Richard who stumbles onto a map to a Utopian community living on an island. The rest of the film finds him and a few friends finding this beach and living there for sometime, only to find that their expectations of community life fall apart. It's an ok movie if your interested in sketchy dialog but a pretty intriguing plot.

But, I digress...

The whole point of that was watching the end of the movie, seeing their expectations not being met, and then seeing "utopia" fall apart. In that we looked at an illustration of the flow of community life. I even took a picture for you!

In this illustration we look at five different aspects of community life:
Casual, Pseudo-Community, Chaos, Catharsis, and Deep Community.

Casual - 1: subject to, resulting from, or occurring by chance casual meeting>2 a: occurring without regularity : occasional <casual employment> b: employed for irregular periods casual worker> c: met with on occasion and known only superficially casual friend>

In the casual stage, it's exactly what is sounds like. In a sense everyone is putting on their best show and conversation is limited to neutral topics like the weather or something. Every community/friendship/small group starts here.

Pseudo - 1 : false : spurious <pseudoclassic>
Community - 1: a unified body of individuals b: the people with common interests living in a particular area
When you hit pseudo-community, you start going a little deeper. You can talk about yourself to a degree, letting people in to more personal aspects of your life but still keeping them at an arms length. Conversation about deeper spirituality can be found here, but very little real personal investment needs to be made. The reality is that most small groups/bible studies/communities never make it past this, mainly because of the limited amount of face time/personal time spent with each other. They are happy with this place because the masks can still be on if you want them to be.

Chaos - 3 a: a state of utter confusion
This is where things get interesting: chaos. In the illustration this is where we go into the dark tunnel. This is where there has been a significant amount of personal investment but all the expectations you've brought haven't exactly been met. This can manifest itself in many ways, but can also be ignored. A lot of people think that chaos is a problem and try to ignore it.We believe that chaos has no place in christian community. We avoid it and never want to move past pseudo-community. The reality is that this is a healthy progression in community life. There are a lot of expectations about community that most of us deal with and will just fester in our hearts unless they are brought to light through chaos. You NEED to allow chaos to move forward. There is reality that not everyone is perfect, therefore you won't love everyones little quirks, or some of the big quirks. The best part is that you, yes YOU, have issues. And eventually those issues are going to bother someone. At some point that someone won't be able to take it anymore and that will create chaos. How you deal with it is what decides whether or not you can move on. I think I've stressed this point quite enough.

Catharsis - 2 a: purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b: a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension 3: elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression
This, my friends, is the next step: catharsis. I love the definition, because there is this idea that when your emotions come to bear there is some sort of purification and spiritual renewal. Now we are again coming from the realization that we aren't perfect and this process may have a few flaws, so keep that in mind. This really is kind of coupled with chaos because it's part of the release that chaos needs. It's like hot lava in a volcano that needs to force it's way out, or, like the illustration, a coming from darkness into light (a slightly less violent way than the volcano, but you get the point). At this point in the community we begin to try and work with chaos, finding a way to make relationships right, learning to love in spite of faults, or just letting your emotions out for everyone to know how you feel. Now this is something that needs to be done with a bit of discretion depending on your audience. Not that honesty is a bad thing, but sometimes sharing how angry you are with so-and-so in the group in front of the whole group doesn't do anyone any good. Since we are thinking of this in terms of healthy community (basically that healthy communities go through this cycle) we are assuming that God is in this equation. Asking for guidance in this process is key. Community will never make it without serious reliance on Him. Through this process beautiful and painful things can happen all at the same time. When you share your heart in the hard times there is a purging that happens, a release in your spirit. You begin to walk in the truth of who you are and who the community is. Only then can you move to the next phase.

Deeper - 1: extending far from some surface or area: as a: extending far downward deep well> b (1): extending well inward from an outer surface
The last part of this cycle is deeper community. This is where a synthesis of chaos and catharsis creates an openness and a trust in which you don't move past someones faults but you learn to love them with their faults. You begin to recognize the Christ in others as they see the Christ in you. Now instead of the word deep we use the word deeper in it's place because there is this idea of constantly moving forward in this. The reality is that this cycle repeats itself. Not the whole cycle, but I think the last three are in constant motion. There are always new things to learn about yourself and others, so chaos and catharsis with be revisited. This, however, is coupled with the promise that when dealt with deeper community will follow each time. There is no end to the depth that you can reach with God and community, so there is always a need for love and grace.

As an aside, I think the opposite can be true in thought, that healthy communities don't go through this cycle and that God isn't in this. I think you can be absolutely focused on God as a community, seeking Him in all things and go through chaos/catharsis. I'll even go as far as to say you have to go through these to experience deep community. I know this idea is repeated throughout this entire blog, but on the other hand I don't think I can stress this point enough. God will allow you to feel pain, rejection, anger, frustration, etc. to help you a) realize you are human, broken, and in need of Him and b) so everyone else can see that about you and it can cause you to humble yourself to the community. Everyone needs a little humility now and again...

Now that's a lot to think about and even in writing this blog my head is spinning and I think I need a nap. So for anyone who has braved it this far into this entry, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. This is a conversation that didn't start with me and won't end with me. It's a conversation that we will be having in faith communities for years to come and I'm glad that I can take part. So if there is anything you would like to agree with, challenge, add, or just vent about, let me know and we can keep going. There are lot's of different types of communities and people so I can't imagine that this model is the model to define all models. That's why God made us creative. So about that nap...

Three months and still truckin'

2008-04-17T21:42:00.014+02:00

So its been a while since I really blogged. We're hitting the three month mark here and I'm just beginning to reflect on everything thats happened. I'm already not the same person that showed up to South Africa in January. All of my expectations, hopes, dreams of what this might be have either been scrapped or changed, most for the better, but some things are still up in the air. What I've been saying lately is that my paradigm of God is shifting.

I mean, we all grow in our knowledge and reality of who God is for us and for the world, but I think their are times where there is a major shift and a lot of things change at once. That's only happened two times before in my life. The first time was when I was 15 and I actually started this journey we call salvation. My whole world changed then. The second time was when I started Bible college. Beginning to really study and think about God, struggle with different ideas good, bad and in between. Both of these instances were accompanied by sleepless nights, joy, turmoil, tears and laughter. All that happening while in a different culture with different people makes it even more difficult at times.

I think it's a necessary shift, but it's hard to deal with and it makes me frustrated and intolerable at times which is hard for the community around me. I have this tendancy to want to figure out everything all at once. I let stuff build up, ideas and thoughts that I need to process as well as things in life that I need to accomplish (or think that I need to accomplish, as if that's what life is all about). Then like the straw that broke the camels back one more thing gets itself stuck up there and my mind just goes into overload. Then I bring God into the picture and think that I need to figure all this out so I can somehow please Him by bringing him this checked off to do list. It's even more frustrating when He set's aside the to do list without looking at it. The reality is He cares more about my heart.

Shane Claiborn writes in his book Irresistible Revolution (this being the Chris Seitz paraphrase) that in one moment we can see ourselves as beautiful in the eyes of God, His creation that He is wooing to Himself. In the next moment we can see ourselves as wretched and desperately in need, like the tax collector who can't even look to heaven when he prays. The reality is that we are both. How can we be both...?

Anyhow, I know that there was promise for news from what's happening here in South Africa. Of course, I dare not leave you wanting!

So as part of our submerging posture we went to stay in the township of Soshanguve. This is one of those experiences that's hard to explain, it's one of those you just need to be there. I stayed with a guy named Thomas who has lived in townships his whole life. It was a pretty amazing time spent mostly just visiting with lot's of different people, playing pick-up games of soccer and eating lots and lots of pap. What made the experience interesting was their perception of poverty. Where I'm from, living in the conditions in which they find themselves would be considered extreme poverty. For these people, however, I don't think poverty has entered their mind. They usually have food to eat, a warm place to sleep, they go to school, and they have electricity. It really makes you think that what we think we can't live without isn't really all that important.

Just me hanging out at Thomas'. Apparently with some ridiculously dirty feet

My room mate and his sister.

The other thing I mentioned in the last post was our trip to the Drakensburg Mountains. There is so much I can say, but I don't think I could give it justice. It was a great time to spend with my fellow apprentices, a time of laughing, love, getting our micro bus stuck in the mud, and breathtaking scenery. So, without further ado here's the Drakensburg.

Well, ok. This bug is a little strange, I know. But look at him! He's like red and blue and stuff. Who has bugs like this? Only in Africa, seriously.

As far as ministry is concerned, I have made some decisions. I’m going to start working with Zimbabwe refugees. I don’t know how aware everyone is of the political climate of Zimbabwe, but let’s just say it’s bad. The current president has been in power for the last 28 years, some of which was very good. Under his leadership Zim became the center for education for all of Africa. They are some of the most friendly and intelligent people you could ever meet.

At one point in their history President Mugabe simply took a turn for the worst (in light of not wanting to misrepresent fact and also not wanting to tell a 28 year history of a country in one blog that link will take you to a basic history of what's happened). In the last several years there has been a mass exodus of people to South Africa and it has become a huge challenge for this country.

Another problem is for whatever reason there seems to be some sort of hatred for people from Zim, especially the black South African population. Through an inner city church we have been able to hook up with a large group of refugees. This is a group that was staying in a township that were getting harassed and beaten up, so the city of Pretoria took them out and put them in this open courtyard/warehouse area. Now, it sounded like they were doing them a favor (in a way they were) and they set them up with a big tanker of water, some toilets, and other provisions, but then a week later they completely abandoned them. There are 67 of them there including 9 children, so the water went fast and the toilets filled up, and then they were left to fend for themselves. As I said before the Zimbabwe people are amongst the most educated, if not the most, in all of Africa. The problem is without proper papers no one will give them a job here. I met one guy with a PhD and he makes next to nothing. Not because he won’t work, but because people won’t let him work. On top of that there is no security (which the city promised 24/7) so people are coming in and taking their food and threatening them. It really made me sick, because I saw some of it first hand and there was nothing I could do.

So now one of the guys here, Jody, and myself are going to get involved with helping them. Mainly just spending time with them talking and listening, they want to tell their stories. On the other end we will help care for them at a local church, fight for the things they need, and really just do whatever we can to help. They are a people that are so full of hope, though. There were elections held recently, but the current president would not release the results. Chances are he lost, and if he decides to actually release them and step down, these people plan on going right back because in there mind there is no better place than Zimbabwe. To hear them talk about how wonderful home is blew me away. One man even described it as 'the land that flows with milk and honey'. Just picturing their faces with such hope in such destitution is bringing tears to my eyes.

Another opportunity we have is working right here in Pretoria North. It actually started as an assignment, part of our submerging posture. We had to pick a service project as a community, either from the list they gave us or something we came up with ourselves. Either way, we decided to go and find some of the people living on the streets that we’ve gotten to know/people we don’t know and take them out to eat. So we split up and our group ended up coming across 5 street kids that park cars right down the road from us. We all met up at Nandos (a local chain restaurant) and had dinner there. It was a really good time just getting to know them. They sleep in a parking lot right down the road and I just have this desire to do ministry that’s right in my backyard. It's the idea that God has planted me here, so why not try to make a difference in the lives of the people I see almost everyday. So my hope is to just start building a relationship with them, hanging out, playing soccer (it's amazing how much "ministry" one little checkered ball can accomplish), and just hearing their stories.

So one large prayer request would be for the country of Zimbabwe, that it would return to the land of beauty and prosperity it once was. Another would be for a girl there named Thandi. She is 22 years old and has taken responsibility for this group. She left all of her family in Zim to come to South Africa so she could send them money. She needed to do this because her father died last in February. When she began to tell us this story tears were forming in her eyes. She is the one who gets harassed typically when drunk men come in and demand that they get food, when in all reality there isn't enough food for the people who stay there. She bears the weight of caring for these people and all I could really do was hug her and hold her and tell her that she is doing a good job and that she is loved. This situation has changed the way I view being "blessed".

Another would be for the guys here on the streets. They are definitely in need, but also in need of softening. Life here has hardened their hearts, so it's gotten to them and when we try to offer them hope they just ask for things. And we can give them stuff, and God commands us to take care of them, but I guess it's hard to know where to strike the balance. Then again he tells us to offer our shirt if they steal our coat. These guys haven't stolen anything from me, but doesn't that mean I should give them even more... I don't know. Just be praying for my discernment in how I interact with them. I want to just get to know them and let them know they are loved. It sounds so easy, why does it have to be so hard?

Thanks for the love and support, I need it now more than ever. I still miss my friends and family and of course Crosspoint. I hope that this blog finds you all well and that it brings the things of the kingdom. Well, as best as a blog can bring the kingdom.

Some slightly annoying news from South Africa

2008-04-11T22:23:00.004+02:00

So, to make a long story short I'm writing this blog to let you know my computer is not doing well. It's something that can and will be fixed, but it's making blogging a little difficult because I don't have ready access to a computer. I'm able to occassionaly check my email and such, so I can respond to contacts, but I'd really like to save blogging until I really have time to sit down and put a good amount of time into it. Plus I can't upload pictures until my computer is working again and I LOVE to put up pictures.

So, as a teaser for my next blog (hopefully next week), I'll tell you briefly about a couple of opportunities we had.

First off, two weeks ago we started our submerging posture. It's basically a time where we take what we've learned from the listening posture and apply it to our current culture in the way of ministry. We are now listening to God for how we should be involved in the community around us. This week we spent three days in a local township called Soshanguve and I got to stay with an amazing South African named Thomas. The experience was completely surreal and I can't wait to tell you more.

The second thing was an opportunity to travel within the country for a weekend away with just the apprentices. We went to the Drakensburg mountains, one of the most beautiul mountain ranges I have ever seen. It was an amazing time with the people I love here in South Africa growing closer through shared experience and a wonderful chance to gaze upon God's magnificent creation.

All of this and more (meaning elaboration and pictures) in my next blog.

Please be praying for all of us apprentices as week seek a place to serve. Some of the ministries are so overwhelmed that meeting with us and helping to find a place for us in their ministries can be a little tough, which in the end is frustrating for all involved. Also, from our point of veiw the need can sometimes be so great that we feel overwhelmed in even picking a ministry or a place to serve. I mainly fall into that second category. Pray that no matter what happens or where we find ourselves that our first goal is to live lives that make the kingdom a present reality for all people, whether we are grocery shopping or feeding the homeless. That's my hope for my life, really for all of us and you as well.

Pangani Blog

2008-03-19T15:57:00.003+02:00

I just wanted to let you all know our Pangani blog is up and running. It's a continuous blog from the previous years of Nieucommunities up to today, where staff and apprentices will take turns writing entries. I think if would be really cool if you all checked that out periodically as well (it's listed in my blogs to check out section on the left) so you can see what life here is like from the perspectives of the rest of my community!

Go Conservatives!

2008-03-17T12:10:00.001+02:00

see more crazy cat pics

Just thought I should share.

Good start to the day!

2008-03-14T11:49:00.014+02:00

So I just wanted to talk about my morning. I'm sitting here in the coffee shop at Pangani with some of my friends and I am feeling very whole.

I went to breakfast with my amazing roommate who really asked me about my heart and my time here. He's leaving on an amazing journey in a week so I think God set aside this morning for us to hang.

And I know he's going to read this so I can say that our relationship has always felt a little distant. We've been working on it, trying to break down the walls, but this morning I really felt like God was doing something. God has been speaking to me about becoming who he's always made me to be, about being a whole person in his perfect plan. It's hard because for the longest time I've listened to the lies of Satan in telling me I'd always be inadequate and a failure so I started to believe it. When I look around this room I see people who've graduated from college, had careers, and in my eyes lived a better life than me so I feel like I am somehow less than them at times. The reality is that they've all left that in the same way I left a progressive church plant where I could have launched some form of formal church career to come here and find ourselves in God. We are all here to find Gods purpose for our lives and to learn to love each other in the good times and the bad times.

It's these moments I need to hold on to as small victories and cherish them in my heart so when things get rough I can go back and remember that I do have love for the people here, even if it isn't full yet. I can remember that through our journeys we can uplift and encourage, even when that is the last thing I want to do.

Lovin' the Music

2008-03-12T14:18:00.002+02:00

I love these guys, you should really check them out!

Becoming the Beloved

2008-03-06T22:53:00.015+02:00

So it's been little while. Our internet here has been a little screwy the past few weeks, but it's probably been for the best. It's really allowed me to focus on what God is trying to say right now as opposed to checking email and worrying about updating this and that. I've had little glimpses of internet here and there so I have been able to get some emails and comments which have been very encouraging to me.

Part of our focus in the last couple of weeks has been listening to God in our relationship with him. Three aspect of that we've focused on are being the beloved, the child, or the loyal subject. We all picked one that we want to hear God speak about the most. Mine was the beloved. I just feel that due to certain events and actions that have taken place in my life that I struggle with that area the most. There is sort of a fear that if I let God that close, what will he say to me? I'm somehow bound to the guilt of the things that I have done in my past, as if God is a lover that forgives but doesn't forget. In the times of greatest needs I fear that he will just wave those memories in front of my face and I will have to live those moments all over again. But that's not who God is. God is someone who's beauty surrounds us and fulfills all of our intimate needs. I'm still exploring this and allowing God to speak to my heart and soul while letting the community in on my struggles in hopes that my vulnerability will bring healing.

Two weeks ago we got to go and check out so ministries of TLF and see what they are all about. Some of the ministries were heartbreaking. One place we went to was a drop in centre for teenager girls who have been sold into or lured into prostitution. Another we got to visit (at least the outside) was a hospice for people dying of AIDS. The idea is that even though these people may be dying we can still love them with the love of Christ and give them some dignity back as they pass from this world to the next, hopefully having given them the chance to enter into the loving arms of Jesus.

The picture above is a school of the Preforming Arts that is affiliated with TLF. They believe that in helping to restore the community the arts play a vital role. To offer a child who has never had the opportunity to dance, play music, or create visual art the chance to to that can bring restoration and healing to the soul.

The above pictures are from the Inkululeko Community Centre. It's located in a housing area called Salvakop in the inner city of Pretoria. The parents can't afford daycare or after school care so the community centre provides all those services including children's clubs and a homework centre for after school care. We had a chance at the end of the day just to play with them and love on them. The video below shows some of our apprentices enjoying a little organized recreation.

So we did take a little camping weekend to a game reserve called Pilanesberg. Now, there wasn't a whole lot of game to be seen, but it was still a good time. We got up close and personal with some giraffe and one very aggravated Wildebeest, and one bird that reminds me a lot of Zazu from the Lion King... Here are some of those pictures.

This week we are taking a break from our regular rhythm to host the Nieucommunities conference. Everyone who is on staff at Nieucommunities from all over the world are coming to our site for the next week. It's pretty exciting to get to see some familiar faces and meet a whole lot of new ones. It's like a big family reunion! All the apprentices are helping to get this thing going. They've put me in charge of basic programming stuff for the sessions. It's nothing exciting but it's fun to help out. It's going to be an exciting and challenging time where we get a chance to talk about where Nieucommunities has been and where it is going. As a pioneering ministry they have seen success and failure which is a natural part of the process. You all can be praying for our time that it is fruitful and most of all fun.

So I'm going to go ahead and leave this one to a close. I'm probably going to start blogging smaller entries more often, so I might not be sending out reminders every time I blog, but I'll send out probably two email reminders a month.

Other things you can be praying for:
- Our team; that we continue to become a family even through the hard times.
- Our ministries; we're coming to the end of our listening posture and soon it will be time to pick the ministry (or ministries) that we will be working with. There are a couple of choices that I am looking at so you can pray for wisdom and discernment for me and for our team.

Thanks so much for your continued support and I hope to hear back from all of you!

Time to listen!

2008-02-14T10:55:00.004+02:00

So hello everyone! It's valentines day and to make nice with the girls here us guys bought them flowers and left them outside their rooms. It was a smash hit, they loved them. So at least we'll be on their good side for a little while. Make sure that you show some love to that special person in your life today!

So this past weekend to bring an end to our orientation we had a day of silence/solitude. It was a day to reflect on what God was doing in our hearts as we had been exploring and understanding culture, community, and ourselves. It was a little strange for me, because as most people know I like to talk! I started the day off not really being sure what to expect. I did some reading and some chores around the house, but in the evening God really started to speak. I spent some time in prayer in one of our garden on my favorite bench just asking God about all the things I had experienced. The main thing on my heart was how I had been going through these ups and downs of homesickness. It was just like God calmed me and told me it would be ok. The next day I woke up and I couldn't wait to see the people here in the community. Not just because I couldn't talk for a whole day, but because I actually missed them. For me that changed the whole dynamic of living here. It's finally starting to feel like home.

Some of the things that you experience when you go overseas for an extended period of time can't necessarily be avoided. Things like homesickness, culture shock, loneliness, these are all unavoidable. But it gives God the opportunity to speak into your life. My biggest problem coming over here was the thought that I'll have my sad moments leaving everyone in the states and then when I come here everything will be ok. God shattered that pride in my life and has been teaching me that sometimes it's not about avoiding these issues but trusting Him to pull me through. What a lesson it has been!

One thing I realized after all this time is that I haven't really introduced all the people I'm sharing my life with. You've seen pictures but you don't really know who they are. So, lets get to it.

From left to right:
Amanda Beam, Laura Wardrip, Some Guy, Kellie Laurson, Mariah Cocke,
Jody Thomas, Roger Saner

These are all of the apprentices that I will be with for the next year. They have quickly moved from strangers to friends, and hopefully by the end of the year I can consider them family. Together we will learn what it means to be community, the good, the bad, and the goofy picture takers (that means you Roger).

So as I said last time this week we have moved into the Listening posture. This means taking time to understand what it means to listen to God, the culture, and those closest to us. We are continuing to listen to God through practicing lent. We have a devotional written by CRM staff that we are using to facilitate. It has been amazing how each day, each scripture and each meditation has been so pertinent to what we are doing. If you want to join in on what we are doing just follow this link and you can have the devotionals sent straight to your email. I know lent has already started but I think that it would be worthwhile for anyone to read these devotionals.

Another thing is going and listening to local ministries and NGO's to hear about what they are doing here in Pretoria to make a difference. One ministry we have been to and we are going to get a chance next week to get more in depth with is called Tshwane Leadership Foundation (TLF). Their goal is to work with churches and communities for urban transformation. Some of the outreaches that they have are focused on are poverty, child prostitution, women in crisis, homelessness and street kids, advocacy on womens issues, AIDS/HIV outreach and so much more.

Another NGO that we will be checking out is called Tutela, which is a center for children ages 0-17 who, under the governments child care act have no where else to turn. They are cared for but are still in need of love and spiritual guidance because there simply aren't enough workers here to help. This was evident even when I called them to try and schedule a time where we could come in and meet the staff and work with the kids and they were too busy to talk.

Sometimes when I look around at even the little bit that we have been exposed to I wonder how I could even make a difference. There is so much need and so much hurt that I can't imagine being able to make a real difference. The truth is that only the love of Christ can make a real impact and we have to be obediant to do what we can when we can. Please be praying for us in this time of listening that God directs each one of us to the area of ministry that we can be most effective in and also the area where we feel most challenged and our unique abilities and personalities are being used.

So until next time I love you all and keep in touch! I know some people have emailed me and I just haven't had a chance to get back to you but I promise that each and every one will be returned!

Settling in for the year

2008-02-04T14:35:00.001+02:00

So it seems that things are starting to move towards normalcy here (as normal as it can feel to live halfway across the world). Though I'm still dealing with bouts of homesickness and such I'm coming through with a sense of clarity and purpose. It seemed funny to me that we didn't start the year off hitting the ground running, but with Nieucommunities everything and every time has a purpose, even free time. A lot of what we've been doing here in the last week has been very team oriented. The pictures you are about to see (and the one from the top) are from Kwalata Game Ranch where we spent the day doing some team building activities. It was hard to take pictures while being involved, but I had one of the guys there take pictures of what was my favorite activity. We had to take a rope make it form a perfect square with 90 degree angles. The trick is we had to do it blindfolded. You can see how well it turned out.

As you can see, it actually worked. The exercise taught us a lot about listening to each other and leadership. You can probably see at one point there were only four of us holding the rope in the middle. We had to figure out the corners while everyone else waited for further instruction. Then when we sorted everything out the rest of the team had to come in and build from there. It showed that there are sometimes where we need to wait and be quiet and other times where we need to get up and go while the ones who were leading had to be quiet. In the end it took all of us to complete the square, so we couldn't have done it without the team. It was a lot of fun but also a very important lesson.

On the way out we spotted some local wildlife. These guys are called Springbok and were nice enough to hang out while I snapped some photos.

Another cultural activity we got to participate in during this past week was playing/watching some cricket. As an intro to the game we played some garden cricket which we pretty funny to watch and play as you'll see. Then this weekend we got a chance to go to a 50 over match (meaning an 8 hour match) which was surprisingly engaging and fun to watch. This match also had some serious cultural relevance because it was Shaun Pollocks last match. Shaun Pollock was one of the best cricketers in the game and his retirement brought out a large and overwhelmingly emotional response from South Africans and some of our staff members alike.

At the match

A couple pictures of Shaun Pollock if anyone is curious

So while in Johannesburg we got a chance to check out some very culturally relevant sites. Below is a picture of the Nelson Mandela statue in none other than Nelson Mandela Square. It was erected on March 31, 2004 to honor the famous South African statesman. It stands 6 meters tall and is quite impressive in person

We then got a chance to go to the Apartheid Museum. It was a hard museum to walk through, to see what people were subjected to due to years of fear that then turned to hatred. It was very sobering to see what can happen when power is taken too far. We weren't permitted to take any pictures in the museum, but I got the chance to take a couple at the end as we walked out. They are just words that represent ideals that South Africa is now rebuilding a nation on.

Last week got a chance to go out and see some of the local ministries and hear the stories of the people who started them. One place we went was to an orphanage called House of Joy and ate lunch with it's founder Thobile. When she was a school teacher she began to have children show up to class who hadn't eaten in days and had nothing to eat for lunch. Then as she began to investigate she found that some of these children had lost their parents to AIDS and had grandparents who couldn't support them. So she started providing for them, feeding them, and helping their grandparents support them. Eventually she left school teaching, even though she had her own family to support, and started caring for these children full time. Now she houses 8 orphans full time and hosts a daycare/school for those who can't afford it for around 95 students up to age 5. They also run an after school computer program for high school students who want to learn because the schools don't have computers. They rely completely on the support of churches and government organizations, truly believing that God can sustain all their needs. These are some pictures of our lunch together with her and her staff.

So this week was also a chance to take a look at what the rest of the year will look like for us as apprentices. With this week ending our orientation we will be moving into our postures. One definition of posture is a mental or spiritual attitude. For us they will look something like this:

Listening: Learning to listen to God, to our hearts, and to the culture around us.

Submerging: Being the hands and feet of Jesus in the neighborhoods we live in.

Inviting: Becoming fragrant followers of Jesus who gather people around a compelling story.

Contending: Fighting well for the lives and faith of those God has brought into our lives.

Imagining: Seeing and embracing what God has created for us and preparing to engage the next leg of our mission.

Entrusting: Preparing those we have served to go on with God and encouraging them to pass on what they've received.

That picture at the end just represents the idea that this is a cycle of living. Each one of these postures builds upon the next, so it's not like when we enter the submerging posture we stop listening to God and so forth. Like I've said in previous posts, this will be an opportunity for us to explore ministries and opportunities for ministry in the surrounding communities and really hear from God about what he would have us do this year. The postures will also be supplemented by books we will be reading and also specific parts of scripture that we will implement in our times together as well as times of solitude.

Another cool thing we are going to be doing as a community is that starting this Wednesday we will be participating in lent. It sometimes seems like an old boring tradition, but God can sometimes be found in tradition. It's amazing to know that when we are participating in daily readings and prayers for that we will be joining in with a global community of believers that will be preparing to celebrate Easter and learn what it means to share in the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour. This is definitely new ground for me but I am excited to see how God is going to shape and transform our community through this time.

So that's what's been going on in the last week or so. It's been busy but good. I hope to hear back from everyone so I can hear some news from home. I love you all and have a great week!

Curse the ozone...

2008-01-27T21:16:00.000+02:00

So I'm suffering from a bit of Sunburn today. We spent a day away from our busy orientation schedule at a South African water park called Sun City. It was really nice but the sun here in Africa is much hotter than in Florida surprisingly. The theory is that the ozone in the Southern hemisphere is more depleted and the sun burning through my three separate applications of 30 spf makes me a believer! Unfortunately no pictures (I have a bad tract record with cameras, not going to risk it at a water park!), but other than some beautiful trees and a monkey who stole bananas out of our stuff (how cliche) there wasn't much worth taking pictures of. But enough about that.

Things here are going well. I've been a bit homesick and it took me about a week to really beat the jet lag. Today I really missed Crosspoint, knowing that Rob's first day was today and being excited for what's happing in the life of the church. I know that God has called me here for a purpose, but it's ok to miss you guys now and again. I have a few pictures I figured I'd like to share. One is of the whole team, which getting one seems like a feat in and of itself. The following ones are of my room for those who still don't believe I'm not living in a mud hut.

During these next two photos I'm actually quite nervous, mainly because I'm driving for the first time in a foreign country. If you look close enough you'll notice that some things just aren't the same as the states...

This is a video about what happens when your point man drives too fast in a foreign country.

The last week has really been an opportunity to learn about the culture and the history of the South African people. We visited the natural history museum (sorry, no pictures allowed) and got a brief overview of the history as far as they can go back until now of South Africa and how it became a country. One of the weekends coming up we will actually be going to the Apartheid Museum to gain a real understanding of what happened at that time. We are also reading a book called A Spirituality of the Road by David J. Bosch a native South African and missiologist which questions the current state of spirituality (it was written in 1979 but is very relevant to today). I'm actually considering starting a second blog where I will discuss our more in depth conversations a little more thoroughly. I really want this one to be an overview of how I am and what we are doing here. If anyone would be interested in that please let me know by commenting on this site. Whether or not you comment I will most likely still do it, but I'll at least know you're interested.

For a look at what's coming up, we still have two weeks left of our orientation and then we move into our listening posture. During this time we are introduced to different people, places, ministries, and churches so we can listen to their stories. We also learn to take time and listen to God while we explore different ways of doing that. At the end of this posture we enter into a submerging posture where we can engage in some of those different ministries and really become the hands and feet of Jesus to them. I'm very excited about this because we've gotten a few glimpses into different ministries and opportunities that we will have but those will have to wait for another time so I can better explain them.

I will leave you all with some random pictures I've taken of the team just during the week so you can just get a better idea of who I'm living with. Please send me lot's of emails and comments, I really miss you all. I know it seems like I don't have a lot to offer you right now but they are really trying to ease us into our rhythm here at Nieucommunities, understanding the initial culture shock, homesickness and the like. I was looking at this weeks schedule and it seems like orientation is picking up the pace a bit, so it will be a fairly busy week. I won't be able to blog again or return emails until next Sunday, so be looking for that. Again, I can't express how much I miss everyone of you and long to see your faces and hear your voices. So please be keeping me in prayer that God would sustain me and keep me and that I would truly enter into community here and love my new family. So, with all that said, goodnight, God bless, and I love you all!!!

These are just some time spent in the city.

Making dinner at Pangani.

This was a team building project to put up a tent. It took some time, but I would have slept in it when it was done... maybe.

A Beautiful Beginning

2008-01-20T21:45:00.000+02:00

So this is day 3 in South Africa and everyone has finally arrived. The apprentices are seven in all. Today we began our weekly tradition of gathering for a braai (Afrikaans for barbecue and pronounced "bry") . During this time we invite all staff and friends to Pangani (the name of the place where we are living) and partake in the braai and then gather for a time of worship.

Arthur (our trip leader) in the background trying to clean the grill and Jody (another apprentice) not helping.

Extremely cute baby

The baby was very photogenic.
Luc and Roger are in the background discussing todays cricket game.

Good stuff right there!

The finished product!

Arthur got a hold of my camera. Roger doesn't like normal pictures.

Still Arthur.

Arthur once again.

We had to move inside because of rain. Still a good time!

A beautiful time of worship.

The name "Pangani" was given to this house and grounds over 100 years ago and it means "come together" which seemed to be an almost prophetic name when Nieucommunities acquired it because this is now a place where people can com together to experience God, to rest, and like us to be trained and sent out. This was a great start to the week being as that our apprenticeship officially starts tomorrow. The team seems to click very well and I truly believe that this is going to be one of the best and challenging years of my life.

Now this will also mean that I will be taking some time off of the internet. As a team we are all going to take some time to really acclimate ourselves and dive into our lives here in South Africa and these next couple of weeks of orientation are crucial. Don't worry though, I will be blogging again next Sunday night and taking a ton of pictures. I will also have many stories to tell! Feel free to comment and email me, I will get them. Just don't be surprised if I don't get back to you right away. After a few weeks we will get into a regular rhythm and I will be able to be in contact more often. At this point I expect to blog once a week, most likely on weekends. So be looking for my updates then.

I also added a section on the right called photography. There are some photos I've been editing myself and there are just too many to put on here so I've been putting them in photobucket so you can take a look.

So you all can really be praying in this next week that I can begin to acclimate to the time (lots of jet lag!) and that I can begin allowing God to speak to me about my purpose here, that I wouldn't be distracted or thrown off track.

Also for all who are supporting me financially I want to again say thank you and just give you a reminder to send in this months support as soon as you can if you haven't. On the practical side it may be easier for some of you to give online and that is possible through my section in the upper right of this blog entitled "Support Me In South Africa!!!" Just click on the link and follow the instructions. You can even set up an automatic withdrawal if that is easier for you. It is just extremely important that you remember to do this so that this year can run smoothly and uninterrupted.

Thanks again and I can't wait to hear back from you all!

I'm here now!!

2008-01-18T22:21:00.001+02:00

So I finally made it! Not without a few delays (apparently it snows in the winter in DC, who would have thought?), but after 20 collective hours of being on planes we arrived in Johannesburg at about 6pm (that's 11am for you).

As you can see there were quite a few people here, it was also dark and rainy, so there were very few photo opportunities. These are a couple rough shots of the grounds on which I will be living.

Some of the apprentices arrived today and others will be arriving tomorrow. The official number of people is going to be seven, with a few transient staff members, fellow sojourners, and the like. I can't wait to show you all some more shots of the grounds, they are absolutely gorgeous. I'll have some pictures of my room tomorrow (it's a tad messy right now) and some of the other apprentices (also a tad messy from the long day... I hope they don't read this!). Indeed it has been a long day and it's about time for me to unpack and unwind, but in the midst of the weariness there is a hope and anticipation for what God is going to do in us, with us and through us this year.

Today's the day!

2008-01-17T16:19:00.000+02:00

It's finally here, the day that I leave for South Africa. I can't believe it! I will miss you all very much, but I know that this is what God called me to do. Thank you all for your support this far and for your continued support as I leave on my journey.

This next few weeks are going to be very critical for me so please keep me in your prayers. For about three to four weeks I will be limited in my access to the internet due to the nature of getting acclimated to a new culture and new surroundings. I will be updating about once a week and then from there I will be updating on a more regular basis and will be able to be in regular contact. You can, however send me as many emails or comments on this blog as you would like because I know that I will need to be hearing from you all!

The next time you hear from me will be from the other side of the world!

One More Week!!

2008-01-11T06:43:00.000+02:00

So it's down to a week and I couldn't be more excited! The support has just been continuing to flow in. I have reached and am continuing to exceed my one time support goals, and the one time support has reached $725 out of $1,000. I've gotten my visa, plane tickets, and overseas health insurance, so I'm pretty much set up, just waiting on that last bit of monthly support.

It seems very bizarre that in a week I will be leaving this country, not to come back for another year. There isn't any fear there, God seems to have replaced it with a serene peace. Not to say that this last two weeks hasn't been hectic. Between totaling my car and catching the flu, I have to say they've been pretty eventful. But all things in the end have been blessings. Totaling the car means I don't have to do the legwork to sell it in such a short amount of time (and no one was hurt, most important of all!). The flu gave me time away from my stress. I have so much to do but I was missing out on God in the midst. It was like God was saying "If you don't stop for a second, I'll make you stop!" He want our whole selves so much more than what we can do for him. If he can't have me then South Africa is pointless. He wants all of us and what we do for him is just an overflow. Our desire to serve should never outweigh our desire to be in love with God and I know that I am guilty of that. I think we all are. Just remember that he loves you more than anything you could ever imagine and he wants your heart to be his alone!

Thanks for all the support and I can't wait to see everyone one last time this Sunday!

18 Days Out!

2007-12-30T22:06:00.000+02:00

It's becoming very surreal to me that I'm going to be leaving. At church this morning it really hit me that I will only be at Crosspoint for two more weeks! I'm really going to miss it, but I know that God has something great for me in South Africa and I am ready to be there.

Just to give you guys an update on support, my one time gifts are up to $7,400 out of $8,000 and $550 out of $1,000, so we're hitting really close to the goal. God is really pulling through and so are his people.

I'm trying to sell a few things that I won't need over the next year and one of them is my car. That's going to be really important because I am still making payments on it. It's a 2002 Saturn SL2 and I am selling it for $3,000 dollars. So if anyone you may know is in need of a dependable vehicle in that price range, please send them my way!

When God moves, He moves!

2007-12-19T05:14:00.000+02:00

I just want to say thank you to everyone who came out to my poker tournament! We had a great time, great food, and in the end $900 was raised! That is huge and it meant a lot to me that you guys were there. Congratulations to Charles for being our tournament champion, you played well for your first time ever playing poker. Makes everyone a little suspicious... just kidding! Seriously though, there are a couple of amazing stories that I want to tell you.

When you raise support, for each event you put on you are supposed to have a specific goal in mind, a number that you are shooting for. I was going real big with the poker tournament, I was praying for $1,500, which would have meant 50 people showing up. Obviously that didn't happen. Nine hundred dollars from about 30 people was still an amazing turnout, but in the end I knew I still needed more. I was praying that night and the next morning about how I was going to get the rest, and honestly I was worried. The next morning at church someone walked up to me with a Christmas card and told me that there was some support in there from her and her husband. In that card was $700 dollars! I couldn't believe it! Not only had I gotten the $1500 I had prayed for, I got an extra $100!

One more story; working at Starbucks I had met this guy who was just beginning to raise support to go to Kenya for 3 years. The amount of support he needs to raise is up front and monthly is close to 4 or 5 times the amount that I need. He's a great guy and every time he comes in we have awesome conversations about missions and ministry. Well, a couple of days ago he came to Starbucks and handed me a folded up piece of paper. When I got off work I opened it up and it had $200 dollars and a note explaining that he had been meaning to give this to me for sometime and he was trying to invest in what really mattered in the kingdom! Someone who has a staggering amount of money to raise compared to mine felt compelled to invest in me, I was humbled.

All that to say, God is truly moving. He is active in the lives of His people and He knows what we need. With that money and other money that has been pledged that brings my one time gift total up to $5,895 out of $8,000 and my monthly support pledges to $375 out 0f $1,000. There is still more needed, but God's people (that's you guys!) have been faithful thus far and I believe will see this thing through with me!

40 days and counting...

2007-12-08T22:09:00.000+02:00

It's really interesting knowing that in less than 2 months I'm going to be hoping on a plane to go live halfway across the world. Lately I've been experiencing this mix of emotions that range from excitement to fear to joy to anticipation. Throw those in a pot and mix 'em up and you get a type of passion you can't just conjure up on your own. It's that type of passion that you just want to bottle up and save for a rainy day when you just feel like you can't keep doing what you're doing. I've been reading through the Song of Solomon as of late and it's a book that reveals God's intimate passion for us. In the same way Solomon desires the wife of his youth, so God desires us to be His, to belong to Him and to seek Him out with a fervent passion that never surrenders. When I wake up I think about going overseas and when I go to sleep I think about God's love for the world. I can't escape it and I'm willing at all costs to see this dream he has birthed in my heart fulfilled.

Major Fund Raiser!!!!

2007-11-29T20:08:00.000+02:00

On Saturday the 15th we will be hosting a Texas Hold-em tournament at Delta Woods Park as a fund raiser for my trip to South Africa. The entry fee is $30 and there will be major prizes for the top 5 players. Registration starts at 3:30pm and poker begins at 4pm. We will be serving hot dogs and chili. Email me at seitz@crosspointlive.com to let me know if you'll be able to make it!

Update on Support

2007-11-20T01:22:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone!
I just wanted to let you guys know how the support raising is coming. As of now I have $3,240 in one time gifts and $225 in monthly support! That is incredibly encouraging and I wanted you all to share in the excitement with me. With the final months counting down I'm still looking to raise $4,760 more in one time gifts and $775 in monthly support by January. I know that it is more than possible with God's help, the support of my friends and the support of my church. I could never have made it this far without you and I can't wait to see what God has for us on this journey.

So it starts...

2007-10-26T18:22:00.000+02:00

First off I want to say a serious and heart felt thank you to Wayne and Tina for setting up this blog site! It means a lot to me that you care that much about what I'm doing that you would set up a way for me to communicate with you and the rest of the world. Enough of the sappy stuff...

This has and continues to be one of the most amazing and trying time of my life. I'm learning a lot about who I am and who God wants me to be. Moving to the other side of the world to learn what it means to live a life totally sold out for the gospel has been my dream for a long time, but I never realized that preparing to get there would be such an integral part of the experience. It makes me think of the process of refining gold, that when it is being heated all of the impurities rise to the top so they can be removed. It's an illustration that seems overused in the church, but right now it makes a lot of sense to me. It's almost like God is turning up the heat right now, removing certain things from my life and replacing them with His word and truth, so that when I get to South Africa I will be ready. So for now, that is where I'll be, learning and growing, knowing that He will be there to guide my steps and direct my path.

Welcome to my blog!

2007-09-27T03:38:00.000+02:00

In just a few month's I'll be on my way to South Africa.

Here is where I will chart my journey...