My Heart (Part 2).

Today is the day we leave. It came so fast, it almost feels too soon. But, as we all know so well, all things must come to an end, good or bad. What we can do is reflect on what has happened, not in a regretful sense or trying to hold on too much to what was, but to learn more about ourselves and press on into the future.

As I spoke about in my previous blog we have been working on a Heart Project. We finished them and shared them this past week, so without any further introduction, here is mine.


I feel that this is going to be something very difficult to explain in a blog, so what I will do is just explain what the piece says about my heart and you should be able to look at it and figure out what means what.

This year has been a year of exploring freedom. Not just freedom from sin, but freedom of mind and heart. The freedom to love, to express, to trust, and to be loved. Part of my coming to Africa is was also a search to find out who Jesus really is. I know a lot of people who have had bouts with skepticism, trying to figure out whether or not God even exists, is Jesus really the Son of God, that sort of thing. I've never had a problem with the existence of God and Jesus, but more of a skepticism that questions what we believe about his nature, his purpose for us, his plan for creation, all those things. I've had lot's of good and bad experiences, but they all point me back to myself. If you can see the top part of Africa, it's a collage of paintings of God or Jesus. They are surrounded by mirror pieces and stained glass. They represent my attempts to find Jesus. Over every one of the faces I put clear glass. This represents my pathetic attempts to put up walls between myself and God, he can see right through them every time. Thinking back over this past year, a lot of my experience has helped my to look back at myself. It's said that community is like a mirror, so over South Africa I did a mosaic of mirror pieces that are coming together to help me see a better image of myself and my own heart. In the middle of Africa I painted a human heart, it is my heart. The metal bars are broken through over my heart, because my heart first needs to be free before I can figure out the rest.

So there is my "brief" explanation. I'd rather tell you more about it in person, it would be a lot easier.

In my last post I also promised a bit of a look into the future. I've applied for and was accepted to come back for an internship here in South Africa with Nieucommunities. There are a lot of details that are coming together, such as support needed, when I will be coming back, and what the long term implications of this will be. It is safe to say that I am looking to come back for a long term position here in South Africa and this is the next step in doing so. What I do know is that it will be focused on my vision statement for my life and ministry that I wrote here. I want to share that with you all who have not heard it in hopes that you'll be able to understand a little better what this internship will be all about.

This vision that God has given me is yet to be complete. As I grow in Him and imagine what could be He takes me to new places and reveals His plan and purpose to me. So today I see myself strengthening and starting new monastic communities all over the world. I want to build relationships that reciprocally challenge and encourage each other. In these communities I dream of the following:

• I will create places of peace and rest for myself and for others. There will be an openness and acceptance of others where they are at. We will have the freedom to ask questions, seek answers and work our true calling. Together we will work out a rhythm of life which will include prayer, worship and fun together. There will be values that the whole community agrees on that will be expressed in everything that we do.
• There will be room for self-expression and creativity. God created me and the world around me and His Spirit and image lives inside of me therefore I have the ability to be creative and innovative. My life and the communities I am a part of should express themselves uniquely according to their DNA.
• I will have passion for the Church, locally and internationally. In my life I want to be a leaf and God’s Spirit the wind. I want to go where He sends me and leave when He decides. In these communities I want there to be an outward focus to those in need, those who can’t help themselves. I want to see Jesus in every person I meet and treat them like royalty at my table. What I have is God’s therefore it belongs to everyone.
  
  
• In these communities we will care for the world around us. We are co-creators with Christ and His salvation is for the whole world, including us. We will teach others how to care for creation in ways that are specific to their context.
  
  

In the end, I hope to be a part of new expressions of love and worship towards God and mission inside and outside our walls.

All that being said, I can't wait to be home and share more of my heart with all of you. I'm so ready to see my friends and family again, to be in familiar places and eat great Mexican food! All of you have been a great encouragement to me on this journey, but it's not over, not by a long shot. There is so much more that God has in store for all of us and I'm excited to be a part of that with all of you.

So, soon we will see each other face to face! Much love to all of you!!!