Community Fun!

So we had this really good conversation on community and expectations today so I figured I'd share it with you. It's cleverly titled "Myths of Community ". Also I'm on my fourth cup of coffee today so I have a lot of energy.

We started out the conversation with a clip from the movie "The Beach". In a nutshell, the movie is about a world traveler named Richard who stumbles onto a map to a Utopian community living on an island. The rest of the film finds him and a few friends finding this beach and living there for sometime, only to find that their expectations of community life fall apart. It's an ok movie if your interested in sketchy dialog but a pretty intriguing plot.

But, I digress...

The whole point of that was watching the end of the movie, seeing their expectations not being met, and then seeing "utopia" fall apart. In that we looked at an illustration of the flow of community life. I even took a picture for you!


In this illustration we look at five different aspects of community life:
Casual, Pseudo-Community, Chaos, Catharsis, and Deep Community.

Casual - 1: subject to, resulting from, or occurring by chance casual meeting>2 a: occurring without regularity : occasional <casual employment> b: employed for irregular periods casual worker> c: met with on occasion and known only superficially casual friend>

In the casual stage, it's exactly what is sounds like. In a sense everyone is putting on their best show and conversation is limited to neutral topics like the weather or something. Every community/friendship/small group starts here.

Pseudo - 1 : false : spurious <pseudoclassic>
Community - 1: a unified body of individuals b: the people with common interests living in a particular area
When you hit pseudo-community, you start going a little deeper. You can talk about yourself to a degree, letting people in to more personal aspects of your life but still keeping them at an arms length. Conversation about deeper spirituality can be found here, but very little real personal investment needs to be made. The reality is that most small groups/bible studies/communities never make it past this, mainly because of the limited amount of face time/personal time spent with each other. They are happy with this place because the masks can still be on if you want them to be.

Chaos - 3 a: a state of utter confusion
This is where things get interesting: chaos. In the illustration this is where we go into the dark tunnel. This is where there has been a significant amount of personal investment but all the expectations you've brought haven't exactly been met. This can manifest itself in many ways, but can also be ignored. A lot of people think that chaos is a problem and try to ignore it.We believe that chaos has no place in christian community. We avoid it and never want to move past pseudo-community. The reality is that this is a healthy progression in community life. There are a lot of expectations about community that most of us deal with and will just fester in our hearts unless they are brought to light through chaos. You NEED to allow chaos to move forward. There is reality that not everyone is perfect, therefore you won't love everyones little quirks, or some of the big quirks. The best part is that you, yes YOU, have issues. And eventually those issues are going to bother someone. At some point that someone won't be able to take it anymore and that will create chaos. How you deal with it is what decides whether or not you can move on. I think I've stressed this point quite enough.

Catharsis - 2 a: purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b: a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension 3: elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression
This, my friends, is the next step: catharsis. I love the definition, because there is this idea that when your emotions come to bear there is some sort of purification and spiritual renewal. Now we are again coming from the realization that we aren't perfect and this process may have a few flaws, so keep that in mind. This really is kind of coupled with chaos because it's part of the release that chaos needs. It's like hot lava in a volcano that needs to force it's way out, or, like the illustration, a coming from darkness into light (a slightly less violent way than the volcano, but you get the point). At this point in the community we begin to try and work with chaos, finding a way to make relationships right, learning to love in spite of faults, or just letting your emotions out for everyone to know how you feel. Now this is something that needs to be done with a bit of discretion depending on your audience. Not that honesty is a bad thing, but sometimes sharing how angry you are with so-and-so in the group in front of the whole group doesn't do anyone any good. Since we are thinking of this in terms of healthy community (basically that healthy communities go through this cycle) we are assuming that God is in this equation. Asking for guidance in this process is key. Community will never make it without serious reliance on Him. Through this process beautiful and painful things can happen all at the same time. When you share your heart in the hard times there is a purging that happens, a release in your spirit. You begin to walk in the truth of who you are and who the community is. Only then can you move to the next phase.

Deeper - 1: extending far from some surface or area: as a: extending far downward deep well> b (1): extending well inward from an outer surface
The last part of this cycle is deeper community. This is where a synthesis of chaos and catharsis creates an openness and a trust in which you don't move past someones faults but you learn to love them with their faults. You begin to recognize the Christ in others as they see the Christ in you. Now instead of the word deep we use the word deeper in it's place because there is this idea of constantly moving forward in this. The reality is that this cycle repeats itself. Not the whole cycle, but I think the last three are in constant motion. There are always new things to learn about yourself and others, so chaos and catharsis with be revisited. This, however, is coupled with the promise that when dealt with deeper community will follow each time. There is no end to the depth that you can reach with God and community, so there is always a need for love and grace.

As an aside, I think the opposite can be true in thought, that healthy communities don't go through this cycle and that God isn't in this. I think you can be absolutely focused on God as a community, seeking Him in all things and go through chaos/catharsis. I'll even go as far as to say you have to go through these to experience deep community. I know this idea is repeated throughout this entire blog, but on the other hand I don't think I can stress this point enough. God will allow you to feel pain, rejection, anger, frustration, etc. to help you a) realize you are human, broken, and in need of Him and b) so everyone else can see that about you and it can cause you to humble yourself to the community. Everyone needs a little humility now and again...

Now that's a lot to think about and even in writing this blog my head is spinning and I think I need a nap. So for anyone who has braved it this far into this entry, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. This is a conversation that didn't start with me and won't end with me. It's a conversation that we will be having in faith communities for years to come and I'm glad that I can take part. So if there is anything you would like to agree with, challenge, add, or just vent about, let me know and we can keep going. There are lot's of different types of communities and people so I can't imagine that this model is the model to define all models. That's why God made us creative. So about that nap...